


in the crowd

by renmoojunskz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-01 13:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 10,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17245064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renmoojunskz/pseuds/renmoojunskz
Summary: in which chan and jisung are a happy couple that are an underground rap duet. jisung always sees this cute boy in the crowd. but cute boy can rap too. so what happens when they add cute boy to their duet? (lowercase intended)





	1. introduction

jisung stretches as he stands from his nap. his boyfriend groans on the bed, shirtless and tired. "come back.." chan groans.

 

"we have to be at Under in 30 minutes and you take a billion years to get ready," jisung laughs. but he leans over chan and places a kiss on his lips. 

 

chan sighs but rolls out of bed.

 

15 minutes later jisung is waiting for him at the door. he had picked a regular old band t-shirt and ripped jeans. chan appears wearing something similar and grabs his keys, pulling jisung into a sweet kiss.

 

chan and jisung had been together for 2 years, since jisungs senior year in college. they had been friends since high school and pined over each other all that time. finally chan had confessed and now here they are. living together in a cute apartment with an extra room and working together.

 

they write and produce and rap together. even sing and dance sometimes. they were happy. chan always felt like something was missing but it never made him feel like he needed to do something about it. he loves jisung more than anything. he loves his life.

 

jisung and chan were the it couple of the underground rap community. everyone knew them everyone loved their work.

 

they arrive at Under and chan's hand finds jisung's hip as they weave through the crowd. people greet them and smile and jisung was buzzing.

 

they get tot the stage and chan sets up the equipment as jisung fixes the microphones. his eyes scan the crowd.

 

and he finds the boy. the rough boy with black hair and black clothes that always sits in one of the back tables at every single show chan and jisung do. jisung's heart beats loudly as they make eye contact for the first time tonight and jisung gives him a large gummy smile which the boy nods to and takes a sip of his drink. he was always there and jisung was so interested.

 

chan hugs him into his side as they start, kissing his temple.

 

jisung's eyes shone bright.

 

-

 

changbin finishes his first glass. he was always here and he always left after chan and jisung finished.

 

they were his inspiration.

 

he was here to escape. his eyes scan the two on stage as they go. his angels. he knows he has some sort of crush on jisung even though they have never even talked before. he was so pretty up there. changbin's eyes scan his whole presence as he raps and he smiles to himself. and his eyes dance to chan who he knew was older. and chan was also looking at jisung. he loves jisung. and that's how changbin knew he had no chance with either of them. the it couple.

 

he has this old ratty notebook that he scribbles in. on the top of each page is either chan or jisung's name. whoever was his muse that night. tonight, his hand flows chan's name.

 

and he scribbles as he watches. watches how his body moves and his hair bounces as he raps. how he holds jisung's waist at the end when they say their goodbyes.

 

changbin was lost in his own world and he snaps out as they step off of the stage. he throws back the ending of his fourth drink and slams his notebook shut, rushing out before the couple.

 

but as the two are congratulated and praised but some friends, jisung tucked into chan's side, jisung was watching changbin escape. 

 

and he wishes he could go after the dark boy.

 

but he stays.

 


	2. thoughts and parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan is thinking about that missing piece and jisung is thinking about the boy.

jisung cuddles into chan's side as both boys sit on the couch in just their shorts. it's hot. 100 degrees outside and their air wasn't working. they had fans blowing from every directions and yet they still were cuddling.

 

jisung holds chan's bare waist and chan runs his fingertips on jisung's back and shoulders.

 

neither spoke.

 

chan glances down at his boyfriend. he still felt that missing spot even after 2 years. it was always there and eating at his mind.

 

he really didn't know what it was. it wasn't like jisung and chan hadn't gone all the way. they have. and it was everything they had ever wanted. jisung was all chan needed. but... he was always the one cooking. the one protecting jisung. he felt like he should be protected too. but jisung was too soft. and he knew that he was soft for jisung too.

 

maybe they weren't perfect for each other.

 

"we should get ready to go." jisung sighs and stands.

 

chan follows but grabs his boyfriend's waist and pulls him into a backhug.

 

he trails butterfly kisses on jisung's neck and shoulders and hums. "why don't we skip out? all we have been doing in performing. let's stay in and cuddle." he smiles.

 

"i would love that but i also want to go out. what if we don't go preform and go to the club instead?" jisung sways himself in chan's arms, holding his hands on his stomach.

 

"hmmm yeah that could be fun." chan smiles on jisung's skin.

 

so they get ready.

 

jisung goes through his old college clothes. he finds his old favorite shorts that he knew chan loved back then and his white crop top. he stares at his array of fishnets. hmmmm.... he picks the white ones and some combat boots and then hes done.

 

he finds chan in the living room wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a shirt. he turns to jisung and he holds his breath. "whoa."

 

jisung giggles. "i figured it's been a while."

 

chan pulls him into a soft kiss. "okay well lets go." 

 

the club was packed and chan drags jisung through to a small table with three seats and jisung climbs into the rather high chair. chan's hands are in his thighs. "i'm going to get drinks babe i'll be right back." he says into jisung's ear over the loud music.

 

jisung nods and pecks his lips.

 

he scans the packed dance floor and then the other tables. he didn't expect to see the boy.

 

he was sat by himself at a table down the line drinking something. jisung finds himself staring. the boy was pretty.

 

he was so.. interesting. and jisung wanted to know everything about him.

 

at that moment, chan comes back with drinks.

 

jisung sips at his. "babe?" he asks.

 

"hm??" chan asks, drinking his own.

 

"have you seen him? at all of our shows?" he points.

 

chan looks. "ah yeah. i have seen him." chan nods. "why?"

 

"he's interesting don't you think? always writing? and he leaves when we finish. i kind of want to talk to him."

 

chan looks at jisung who stares at the boy. then he looks at him.

the way his wavy hair falls into his eyes. and his hand scribbles fast.

he looked like...

the missing piece. and now chan was interested. "why don't you go talk to him?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	3. they meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title explains it

"uhm yeah. can i?" jisung hops to the floor, grabbing his drink.

"why are you asking? i told you to." chan smiles, rubbing jisung's waist.

jisung nods. "okay. i will." he presses a kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

he makes his way to the boy and stands right in front of him. "ummm hi?"

changbin's eyes dart up and he freezes. his eyes scan up and down jisung before he makes eye contact. "hi."

"i'm jisung."

"i know."

jisung gulps as he sits up, looking a lot bigger than jisung had imagined.

"changbin." his voice was raspy and deep and... hot. and he was the exact opposite of jisung and chan.

"you watch my boyfriend and i's shows." jisung states.

changbin takes a deep breath. "i do."

"do you want to come sit with me and him?"

changbin looks him up and down again before closes the notebook. "sure." he takes his notebook and his drink and gets down.

he was short but an inch or so taller than jisung so maybe the same height as chan.

he follows jisung to the table and stands next to the empty chair as jisung climbs into his own. "hey," chan greets, eyes eating up changbin's whole look.

"hello," changbin's voice startles chan. his whole appearance was rough and his voice matches but he wasn't expecting it.

"i'm chan."

"he knows." jisung sips his drink. "his name is changbin."

and for some reason changbin was grateful that jisung spoke for him. he sits down and throws back his drink. "i like your music." he finds the courage to say.

"thank you!!" jisung grins. changbin notices the way chan's hand rests on his knee. not his thigh, his knee. hmm..

"what do you do?" chan asks. changbin notices his drink. a beer. and he also notices that he grimaces when he drinks. was he trying to be more of a man for jisung? changbin chuckles softly as he drinks his whiskey without a trouble.

"i write. and i work and live in a bookstore." changbin replies. he was nervous but he would never let that show.

"you live there?" jisung asks. "hey babe can you get me another drink??"

chan nods and stands, turning to changbin and glancing at his empty glass. "want one?"

changbin shrugs. "yeah i guess." 

chan disappears.

"yeah i live there." changbin nods.

"why?" jisung was just so curious. he wanted to know everything.

"because i have nowhere to go and my boss, little old Mrs. Welks, is way too nice to me." changbin sighs.

chan returns with drinks and sits down. changbin nods at him.

they chat quietly and chan clears his throat after a small talk about college. "you know, jisung and i have an extra bedroom."

changbin catches on fast. "no." he snaps. "i don't need anyone's charity."

jisung's face falls. "no that's not what it is. changbin hyung." jisung's hand finds his on the table. "i think you fit well. we want to get to know you more. right chan?"

chan nods. "yeah. it could be fun."

changbin looks back and forth between his two angels. "okay."

 

-

 

"is changbin going to be home tonight??" jisung asks as he steps into the living room. "oh shit hey."

changbin chuckles from the couch. "hi jisung."

it had been a month. changbin wasn't there all that much and when he was he was quiet.

"hi hyung. will you be here?" 

changbin nods. "ill be here for dinner."

jisung plops next to him on the couch. "are you cooking?"

"i can." changbin nods again. his heart pounds. in this month he and jisung were a bit closer and chan and changbin were also closer. both boys adored changbin even though he wasn't even there all that much.

jisung was very touchy and chan was too and this happened a lot. jisung would be the first to go to changbin, chan always following.

jisung nudges changbin's arm and changbin lifts it. jisung fits under it and into changbin's side, curling his legs underneath him. both boys look up at chan who comes in.

he stares for a minute before sliding his jacket off. he sits next to changbin and looks at him. with a sigh changbin lifts his other arm and chan slides underneath and all three sigh at once.

changbin smiles. his angels. ever since he moved in, he had filled up his old notebook and was already halfway through his next, their names scattered everywhere. he was their quiet protector. the nights jisung couldn't fall asleep in his room with chan, he would climb in with changbin who didn't say anything and accepted him. and when chan fell asleep at his desk in the living room, changbin would carry him to bed quietly and tuck him in.

he didn't talk a lot but he accepted their attention and gave them equal attention.

neither chan nor jisung knew much about changbin's life. they knew his personality, how he acted. but nothing else.

they were his. even though changbin took their trust as friendship, both boys relied on him for so much more.

both of them were in love with his mystery.

changbin makes a noise before carefully standing and leaving the couple to make dinner.

both boys watch him from the bar.

"hyung?" jisung pipes up. changbin glances at him. "why don't you come with us to the studio? bring your notebooks and we can write together. i want to see what you can do."

"ooh yeah that sounds cool." chan agrees. both boys follow changbin with their eyes. 

"maybe." changbin shrugs. 

"come on!!" jisung groans.

and changbin cant say no to him. "okay. after we eat."

changbin was theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	4. a slice of life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they do this a lot

"ooh i like this!" jisung grins as he listens to the track changbin made.

it had been two months since they first showed changbin the studio.

and now they see changbin even less. 

it was two am and jisung had come to the studio to find him. and he did. changbin was seated in front of the computer in a thin grey shirt and sweatpants.

now he was sitting next to him listening to the music he had made.

"thanks." he grunts. "why did you come?"

"i couldn't sleep." jisung shrugs. 

"you good?" 

"i'm good." jisung nods, eyes heavy.

"did you walk?" changbin asks.

"you have the car so yeah." jisung yawns. 

"are you tired now, angel?" changbin smiles.

jisungs heart skips a beat. changbin calls chan that too. he nods.

"let's go home then." changbin stands.

they get back inside at 3 and jisung follows him to his room.

he strips his shirt and jisung climbs into bed.

as they get comfortable, the door opens.

jisung's head pops up from changbin's chest.

chan stands in the door, eyes nearly closed and hair a mess. he shuffles in. 

"hey angel. can't sleep?" changbin whispers.

chans lips pout as he shakes his head. "can i sleep here?" 

changbin opens his arm that wasn't around jisung and the older boy climbs in. he smiles down at the two as chan kisses jisung's forehead.

he holds them both and it's a tangle of arms and legs.

changbin is the last to fall asleep.

 

-

 

jisung crawls out first. he goes to the bathroom and smiles when he sees that changbin is off today. maybe he will stay home.

 

the other two shuffle out together. changbin finds the orange juice and the eggs and he starts breakfast without a word and the couple sits at the bar. 

jisung watches the way the muscles in his back move as he cooks and chans head tilts as he does the same. he was the oldest out of them all but changbin was more like the role than him.

changbin sets the plates down and disappears without eating himself.

he comes back dressed and clean. 

he takes the keys and as he passes the two he kisses both of their heads. 

"where are you going??" jisung asks.

"out. i'll be back tonight." his voice was low. "don't worry about me." 

jisung pouts at him but he's already gone.

 

-

 

later that night, the couple is cuddling on the couch.

and they hear a strange banging outside the door and then it flings open.

"holy shit!" chan yelps, shooting off of the couch and blocking jisung. "changbin!" 

changbin stumbles in with a bloody nose and bruised cheek and mouth bloody too.

he throws up in the sink and collapses. 

chan rushes to him and lifts him off the ground. "are you okay?"

"n-no."

jisung appears and helps him too and the two get him into the bathroom.

they pull his shirt off to reveal a bruised up and bleeding torso.

chan finds the first aid and cleans his torso as jisung cleans his nose. 

changbin swallows heavily and looks at jisung. "i'm so sorry. i'm sorry i didn't tell you."

jisung smiles. "it's okay. you can tell us now." 

changbin coughs. they finish cleaning him up and help him to his bed.

"what happened?" 

"i used to fight a lot. and i tried to get out of it but i had some guys mad at me. sorry." changbin groans. 

"are you safe now?" chan asks.

changbin looks back and forth between his two angels and smile weakly. "as long as i'm here i'm fine. i'm going to sleep."

and this happens a lot now. for the next four months at least once a week changbin comes home beaten up in some way. 

he promised them he was fixing it.

but it was so regular to them now. and they wanted to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	5. talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan and jisung need to talk

"can we talk?" jisung asks chan.

changbin was passed out in his room. the couple sat on the couch together at 6am after a long night with changbin. "yeah what's up?" 

"i'm worried about hyung."

"i'm worried too. i wish he would tell us what's going on." chan sighs, pulling jisung into his side.

jisung curls up to him happily and sighs too. "i know. i'm just kind of scared like.." his voice is shaking. "i like hyung a lot and he's one of my best friends and i'm so scared that the next time he won't be coming home we will be hearing about his death on the news." jisung was crying now.

"i know i know. i think we should try talking to him." chan rubs jisung's waist.

"okay then let's talk." a raspy voice makes the two boys jump.

they turn to changbin who shuffles into the living room, his sweatpants low revealing his boxers waist line and his hair sticking up. the bandage chan had applied to his fresh wound the night before dirty and peeling.

"and don't cry please." he groans. he kneels on the floor in front of the two boys, his hands on either of their knees. "i'm sorry everything went to shit."

jisung sniffs again, tears on his cheeks as he looks at changbin. "we are worried about you."

changbin's hand lifts and wipes jisung's tears gently. "i know angel. and i'm sorry. i'll figure it out."

"you have been saying that for half a year." chan's voice was snappy. "we are supposed to be making music and putting it out as 3racha. not keeping you from death."

changbin looks at him. "i'm sorry."

"tell us why this is happening." chan begs.

"i did. i already did." changbin groans. 

"when you come home with cuts and a bloody nose and throwing up, saying 'some guy got mad at me' isn't good enough changbin. i'm so upset. you're my best friend changbin and you're always gone. you're out there all the time with those rough gangs and shit and i don't know what to do about it. we sit here worried as fuck while you're out there. i'm so scared. i'm so fucking scared that you'll be dead this time. i'm terrified." jisung was crying again but he was also mad. "you're hurting us." 

"you barely know me jisung this shouldn't be effecting you this much." changbin was getting mad too.

"barely know you?! changbin, i'm in love with you!! i sit here at night crying because i'm not sure you'll come back. i know you, changbin." jisung snaps. changbin was standing now and so was jisung. chan sat dumbfounded.

"in love with me?" changbin grits his teeth, glaring. "how could you fall in love with me when you're dating chan? huh? that's fucked up." changbin yells. "i'm leaving. and i'm not going to come back. i never wanted to come here. but i took your charity and you see where it led you. stupid and vulnerable."

jisung goes from angry to panicking fast. "wait shit- changbin don't go- fuck please don't leave i'm so sorry-" as he stumbles on his words changbin was grabbing his shirt. "please! please stay!" he screams.

"goodbye jisung. chan i'm sorry. i'm really fucking sorry i ruined your relationship. i'm so fucking sorry." changbin's voice was low as he slammed the door.

jisung sobs. "fuck!" he screams.

he kicks the coffee table before he storms into changbin's room and slams the door, locking it.

chan stands outside the door. "jisung? baby open the door we have to talk..."

"go away." jisung screams. "fucking leave! leave! i know you want to leave me!" 

"i don't want to leave you jisung. i know this is crazy. i really do. i'm not mad at you jisung please open the door. i'm not upset about it really i'm not i just don't want you to do anything stupid. please. open the door. jisung fuck- i love him too, i love changbin too. fuck! i love you jisung. i really love you we can figure this out just open the door please.."

at that he hears the door unlock.

he pushes in and cups jisung's face, wiping his tears.

"i'm sorry chan. i'm so sorry. i ruined it i fucked everything up. i love you so much. i love him. i love him and i love you and it's fucked up and i'm sorry." jisung sobs.

"it's okay baby it's okay yeah everything is fine." he coos, pecking his lips.

"i'm so tired." jisung cries, clutching chan's shirt.

chan guides them to changbin's bed. they slide in, both engulfed by changbin's scent. jisung stops crying, sniffling as he clutches the blankets. chan strokes his hair and sighs. "we will figure it out. i promise."

jisung falls asleep like that. surrounded by changbin and sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	6. texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the texts changbin receives within a little over a month

incoming text: 

from: jisungie

unopened messages: 18

open?

yes or no?

 

changbin please

i'm so sorry just

answer me please

i miss you and i'm sorry it was a mistake i didn't mean to say it

we are so worried we just need to know if you're okay

please reply

i'm so fucking sorry

i know it's fucked up and you're angry but i love you we can figure it out

it wasn't charity it wasn't just answer please 

i know you're angry and you hate me but i need you

please be okay...

shit changbin this is so fucked up

just tell me why this is happening to you

it's been a week i've been sleeping in your room

so has chan he is so worried too

he loves you

please answer

i need to know if you're okay...

 

 

incoming text: 

from: channie 

unopened messages: 13

open?

yes or no?

 

i'm so sorry changbin please come back.

i know you're upset and everything but really we are so worried.

i love you so much changbin

i know, some confession huh? please come back we can figure this out.

are you okay?

god it's been 2 weeks now are you alive?

i need to know if you're alive

this is destroying jisung...

i know you don't love me and i know you don't love jisung. we can get over it we will figure it out

come home please

we miss you

it's been a month...

 

 

delete all messages?

yes or no?

 

all messages deleted.

 

incoming text:

from: jisungie

open?

yes or no?

 

please just tell me you are alive... it has been over a month...

 

i'm alive angel. forget about me. but i want you to know that i love you too.

tell chan hyung that i love him. please stop texting me.

 

oh my god changbin... it's been so long... are you okay?

of course you won't answer never mind... sorry...

i love you so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	7. sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung is sad

"jisung will you come tonight? it's been a month since we performed.." chan knocks. 

jisung curls tighter into changbin's blankets, wearing changbin's shirt. "i don't want to." 

"you know... changbin was there last week..." chans voice was sad.

"you're lying." jisung sighs.

"i'm not. i didn't tell you i knew you would get upset. just come. maybe he will be there." chan sighs.

“fine.” jisung groans, rolling out and opening the door. he leans up and kisses chan before going to get something to wear.

he gets those pair of shorts and a black shirt and black fishnets and his combat boots.

“we aren't performing.” jisung mumbles. “i'm going to get fucking drunk.” and they're out the door.

and changbin was there. 

he was sitting by himself in the back in all black with his notebook and a drink.

jisung gulps. “get me a drink.” he says as he climbs into those familiar high chairs.

chan nods. he knows changbin sees them.

and he glances. and changbin is looking right at him. jisung holds his breath.

changbin looks away.

jisung chugs the first drink. and then the next four. and he was drunk. he finishes his sixth and stands.

“i'm gonna talk to him.” jisung slurs.

“be careful.” chan mumbles.

jisung stumbles his way to changbin and slides his hand on changbins shoulders.

changbin jumps. “jisung-”

“i’m-” hiccup. “so mad at you.” he slurs.

“hey angel.” changbin sighs. 

jisung squeezes between changbins legs and hiccups again. “changbin hyung. you're gonna come home and-” hiccup. “ow- you're gonna cuddle and you're gonna-” hiccup. “shit- tell us everything and- and i don't care that you don't love me-” hiccup. “fuck me- but i want you to come back home.” 

changbin grabs jisung by the hips, keeping him steady. “i don't think so.” 

jisung starts to cry. “i thought that was gonna work.” he hiccups and sniffles.

changbin smiles sadly.

chan approaches and wraps an arm through changbins. “please come back.” 

changbin sighs and pulls chan by the waist into his side and jisung forward so they're hugging. “i'll think about it. okay?” 

chan smiles. “thank you.”

 

-

 

it had been a week and jisung was even worse because of changbin. 

he said he would think about it but it's already been a week there's no way he's coming back.

chan sits in the couch as jisung is curled up in changbins bed when he hears some shuffling and voices in the living room.

he shakes it off as the tv and continues to play on his phone.

the bedroom door opens. 

“why are you in my bed?” 

jisung shoots up. he wasn't wearing pants just one of changbins hoodies but he runs right into changbin, launching himself into the elders arms. 

he links his legs around changbins hips and hugs him.

changbin sighs, wrapping his arms around jisung.

“you came back.” he cries. 

“i'm sorry.” 

jisung holds his face as he cries, eyes darting between changbin's.

changbin smiles. “hi angel. we have a lot to talk about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	8. normal (?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they finally talk

"will you be home for dinner?" jisung's voice was nearly a whisper.

chan and jisung sat at the bar eating the breakfast changbin made. changbin finds the keys and hums. "yeah i'll be back."

"will you be beaten up?" chan asks.

"no. i promise angels." changbin smiles softly. he kisses their heads. "see you."

jisung sighs as changbin closes the door. "he still hasn't told us and it's been nearly month.. it's just the same as before..."

"i know baby. he will soon don't push him okay?"

jisung stares at him. he knows his relationship was off since they both confessed that they had feelings for changbin. it was almost awkward. and jisung felt like chan's confession was rushed and a lie and he thinks that chan definitely hates him.

"what is it?" chan asks, after jisung had been obviously staring.

"you hate me don't you?" jisung whispers.

"hate you? baby no. i don't. why would i hate you?" chan's hands rub his thighs gently.

"because i love changbin and because i love you." jisung sniffs, ready to cry.

"no baby no no no. i told you. i love changbin too." chan smiles.

"do you? or were you saying that to make me feel better?"

"stop. i wasn't lying. i don't know what it is about him but... i love him. but i'm yours jisung. we can... we can figure it out. okay?" jisung nods.

they spend the day on the couch waiting for changbin to return.

and he does. he kept his promise; he wasn't beat up and it was only 6.

he smiles. "hey. i'm gonna make dinner." he says as he sets his things down. 

"okay." jisung nods as he curls closer to chan.

changbin starts cooking and the two's attention turn from Netflix to the other boy as he cooks. their eyes follow his every move.

jisung was dying. he just wanted changbin to tell them.

"it's because of my parents." changbin's voice was loud and unexpected. "my dad is an underground drug dealer. and if he doesn't pay, i get hurt. and he's been getting bad recently because my mom is sick. so it's all going downhill and i'm sorry you guys had to see it."

"changbin," chan's voice was stern. "we are your friends. we are here for you through the bad and good."

"my mom is dying. my dad gets high every day and i know that he's probably going to kill himself on accident."changbin's voice was shaking. "and his inability to take care of himself and pay people is taken out on me." 

jisung stands fast and pulls changbin away from the stove. he hugs his waist. "hyung..."

and changbin is crying. changbin. changbin is crying.

jisung sends chan a panicked look as changbin buries his face in jisung's neck and his body rakes with sobs, clutching jisung's shirt tightly. 

"it's okay. we can figure it out." jisung promises.

"and to top it off. i'm in love with you too. and i'm in love with chan. and my heart is so fucked up and i don't know what the fuck to do i'm such a fucking idiot i hate myself fuck i should have never let you approach me i'm ruining your lives and i am so fucking sorry." changbin groans.

he steps away from jisung and slams his fist on the counter then cusses loudly.

"hey hey hey calm down." jisung panics, scared that he will do something stupid.

chan steps up and grabs changbin's shoulder. "changbin..."

changbin looks at them with teary eyes and a red face. he grits his teeth. "dinner is almost ready."

chan sighs and sits down at the bar where he always does and jisung follows. "apologize to jisung. you scared him."

changbin makes both plates, turning around and putting them in front of chan and jisung before looking at the youngest. "i'm so sorry. i will never hurt you."

jisung nods.

"goodnight."

and changbin disappears into his room. jisung picks at his food. 

"i'm yours chan."

"i know jisung."

"but i want to be changbin's too."

"i know jisung. i want to be his too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	9. cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i mean the title explains it right?

later that night both jisung and chan lie awake in bed. it was already 2. 

they knew changbin was awake, he was pacing. they could hear him shuffling.

jisung looks up at chan. "should we...?"

chan nods. 

the two stand and make their way to changbins room both wearing just basketball shorts.

chan knocks and movement stops. "changbin??" 

"yeah...?"

"can we come in?"

theres more shuffling and then the door opens. changbin stands in the exact same thing. "yeah?" 

"are you okay?" chan tilts his head. jisung was behind him, holding his arm. he was a little scared of changbin, having seen his outburst earlier.

changbin's eyes dart to jisung. "uh yeah. sorry." 

he turns and heads back into the room. he was writing. he held his notebook and pen as he paced. "you can come in and lay down. i know you prefer my bed, the both of you." 

chan smiles and they make their way into changbin's bed. jisung sits up with his back on the headboard and watches changbin as chan lays down, tired.

changbin pats his notebook with his pen as he paces. jisung's eyes watch carefully.

chan's eyes flutter closed.

changbin glances up to them and makes eye contact with jisung who panics and looks away.

he hears changbin shuffle before a warm hand slides across his back. he jumps.

"hey angel. are you still scared?" 

jisung nods fast. "you hit the counter really hard..." 

"yeah i know. but i'll never hit you. ever. i promise. jisung look at me." he does. changbin holds his chin. "i promise." 

jisung nods, relaxing.

changbin makes his way between the two and lays down. he taps chan who was half awake and turns into changbin's side. changbin tugs him closer and looks at jisung expectantly. jisung slides down and curls up against changbin, relaxing.

changbin smiles at them both as they fall asleep.

he thinks, maybe this can work out.

but the next day proves him wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	10. chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well

"i'm breaking up with you." 

chan chokes on his apple juice. "fuck jisung you can't joke like that."

"i'm not kidding." jisung was trying to be strong.

changbin had froze cooking the eggs. 

jisung can see the heart break form in chan's eyes. "i'm serious."

chans mouth falls open. "jisung-"

"i'm sorry but i can't do this. we aren't the same. and i can't pretend anymore."

a surge of anger flies through chan and he stands. "is it because of changbin? huh? answer me! fucking answer me!" he slams his hand on the counter.

jisung flinches but his confidence doesn't falter. "maybe it is!! maybe it fucking is. but it's over chan! i'm tired of this!! we haven't been the same and it hurts and i can't do it anymore." 

chan clenches his jaw. "you're kidding me. after everything we have been through to get here!" he was towering over jisung now.

"chan. i think you should leave." changbin appears behind jisung. 

"fuck this." chan grabs his jacket and shoes and slams the door on his way out.

and jisung crumbles. 

he breaks down completely. he stands to run to his room but instead collides with changbin who immediately holds him up. "hey hey it's okay. calm down. breathe." 

jisung sobs into changbin's shoulder. "i'm so sorry."

"you don't have anything to apologize for." changbin assured him.

they end up on the couch, jisung curled up on changbin's lap. he had finally stopped crying and was now sniffling. 

he looks up at changbin with teary eyes and puffy cheeks.

"hi angel." changbin smiles softly. 

jisung sniffs again. 

his next move sends changbin into shock.

jisung leans up and plants his plush lips to changbin's. 

changbin gasps. "jisu-" 

"shut up." jisung turns to straddle changbin and clutches his shirt, pressing closer.

changbin debates. well.... he was single... 

so he kisses back. his hands find jisung's hips and they fall into a soft make out session.

jisung pulls back, panting. 

"we should find chan." changbin whispers.

"no." 

changbin sighs.

"he will be home when he calms down."

 

-

 

a month later everything was different. jisung slept in changbin's room with him chan was gone all day and changbin usually was too. jisung was alone a lot.

chan brought home girls a lot. usually late after he was out drinking.

changbin would hold jisung tightly, kissing his face and rubbing his back as jisung cried and chan fucked some girl off the streets.

it was a lot quieter.

jisung sits on the couch in changbin's hoodie and no pants, watching some drama.

chan gets home early. he doesn't look at jisung and goes straight to his room, shutting the door.

jisung lets out a breath. 

later changbin gets home and sets his things down. he kisses jisung's forehead and starts dinner.

jisung makes his way to the bar and watches. 

he sets two plates down. "chan. dinner." he calls.

jisung hears the door to chan's room open and then a shirtless chan is next to him. he eats quietly and fast. 

changbin leans on the counter as he eats his own, eyes trained to the two boys. 

as chan stands to leave changbin clears his throat. chan turns and approaches him. 

he gives changbin a look and changbin gives him a small smile then a kiss on the forehead. 

"thank you changbin." chan mumbles.

changbin waves him off and he disappears back to his room.

jisung had only eaten a few bites.

changbin sighs putting his and chan's plates in the sink. "have you taken your medicine?"

jisung sighs. he had been prescribed strong anti depressants after changbin had become worried. he lost a lot of weight and didnt sleep at night.

"no." he knows he's going to be scolded.

"jisung you have to take them." changbin's voice is stern. 

"i'm not going to. i'm going to bed." jisung makes a break for the bedroom and makes it.

he climbs into bed, his back facing the door. 

he hears changbin come in. the bed dips and changbin slides in behind jisung. he pulls jisung back and gently massages his stomach. he trails kisses on jisung's shoulders and hums. "you need them." 

"i'm fine." 

"my mom is getting worse. they said she wont make it to the end of the week." changbin states. 

"changbin..." he doesnt let jisung turn to him. 

"goodnight jisung." he lays down and pulls jisung even closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	11. over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: mentions of suicide

changbin sighs, happy to be off early. he loves the bookstore, really he does, but he's so tired.

it had been 3 months since the breakup and it only seemed to get worse for changbin. he had to help jisung but he also had to help chan too.

he never chose sides. at night he would wait until jisung was asleep then he would go to chan and sit with him and produce for a few hours then go back to jisung.

he usually gets home around 7 or 8 but it's 5 and he's pulling in. 

he was ready for early dinner and maybe even chan was home early today but when he steps in, it's completely silent.

he sets his bag down and the keys. "jisungie?" he calls. "channie?" 

no reply.

now he was worried. when he got home he always had jisung barreling into him.

"jisung?"

he maneuvers through the house. both bedrooms were empty. he reaches the bathroom and the door is locked.

"jisung? open the door." he bangs on the door. 

shit. 

he bangs some more. "JISUNG!"

fuck it. he steps back and barrels into the door, it busts open fast to reveal jisung on the floor.

"oh my god." he spots the bottle. "no no no oh my god."

his antidepressants. completely empty. jisung was pale and stiff.

changbin props him up and pries his mouth open, not even bothered by it as he forces jisung to throw up.

jisung gags and then throws up in the toilet, his whole body trembling.

"jisung oh my god why would you do that?" changbin rubs his back and he continues to vomit and cough violently.

jisung sobs painfully as he leans onto the toilet. "you should have let me die."

changbin starts to cry as he searches for the nasal spray and forces it into jisung's nose and then gets a wet towel. he wipes jisung's face as his body shakes, still cold. 

"come here let's go. i'm taking you to the hospital." changbin stands, still crying. 

why would jisung do that? changbin sobs harshly as he carries jisung's body to the car. he was limp, weak, his eyes closed.

"let me... let me die..." jisung coughs, weakly hitting his chest.

changbin puts him in the car and buckles him in with shaking hands. "jisung.. why would you do that?"

"i hate myself. i ruined everything. i deserve to die... i don't want to live anymore." jisung wheezes. "let me out. let me out!" jisung bangs on the window as changbin drives.

"jisung please." changbin sobs. "jisung... i'm so sorry i made you do this. it's all my fucking fault."

jisung's cold hand finds changbin's large warm one. "it's not your fault. i... love you.."

changbin parks and rushes around to jisung's door, pulling him out and carrying him in. "can i please get a doctor??? please?!" changbin yells. 

"sir, whats wrong?" a nurse approaches.

"he took- a whole bottle of pills i- i made him throw up and gave him nasal spray- i- he's so cold-" changbin cries, legs shaking.

"can i get a wheelchair?" 

"why did you have to come home early?" jisung whispers, eyes closed and body shaking.

and they take him away.

jisung... changbin can't stop crying.

he has to call chan. he fumbles for his phone and presses chan's contact.

"what? where are you two?"

"jisung tried to- he took all of those pills and- i'm at the hospital- he was so cold i-"

"i'm on my way." 

changbin was sitting in the waiting room with all of the other people waiting for their sick family and friends when chan rushes in, crying and panicking.

"changbin oh my god is he okay?"

changbin shrugs. "they took him but he was awake and talking but..."

chan groans and grips at his hair. "oh my god. oh my god it's my fault."

"no it's mine." changbin sniffs.

chan pulls him into a hug. "no. no it's not. fuck changbin."

the two hug tightly, both crying.

finally, a doctor calls. "han jisung?"

changbin and chan rush to her. "us. that's us."

"he's awake you may see him."

"is he okay?"

"he's just fine." she smiles.

the two hold hands as they are guided to a plain hospital room. jisung is sitting up in bed, staring out the window, when they enter.

he was hooked up to an iv and heart monitor and he looked sick still.

"jisung." changbin rushes to him. 

jisung says nothing.

"angel please look at me. i'm so sorry." changbin sniffs, taking his hand. "i'm so sorry this is all my fault. i love you so much please don't do that again."

jisung slowly looks at him. "you shouldn't have come home."

 

-

 

it had been so quiet. jisung had stayed overnight and the past week at home was so quiet.

jisung slept on the couch and stayed there most of the day. chan was always home, jisung had to have someone home to watch him. he's on suicide watch.

changbin always rushed home, making amazing food for him. only for him to discard most of it and drink tea instead.

he hadn't spoken much. he looked sick.

today, changbin was off.

he wakes up after working all night on music with chan and only getting two hours of sleep to find jisung already awake, covered in blankets on the couch watching some drama.

"jisung. do you want breakfast?" jisung shakes his head no. "okay... tea?" he nods. changbin smiles softly and starts the kettle.

he makes the tea just how jisung likes it and gives him the warm mug. jisung takes it with both hands, holding it tightly, eyes trained on the tv.

changbin sits next to him. jisung finds his way through his blankets and pushes them away. he curls into changbin and changbin accepts it, holding him tightly. he feels the tears well up and he sniffs. 

jisung glances at him but looks away as changbin lets the tears fall.

he lets out a broken sob and bites his own hand. 

"please stop." jisung whispers.

"i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry." changbin chants. "fuck i am so sorry." 

jisung sighs. 

chan appears as changbin wipes at his cheeks which does nothing since the tears are still falling fast. 

"what's going on?" chan asks.

changbin stands fast and runs into his room, slamming the door and locking it. his back hits the door and he slides to the ground. it's all his fault. he ruined everything. 

chan looks at jisung who was crying now. "this is why i should be gone." jisung whispers. "i should take that gun you keep by the door and-"

"stop jisung. stop." chan grabs his shoulders as he stands. "we love you so much."

"no you don't. i broke up with you and now you hate me and i broke changbin's heart and now he hates me and i want to die." jisung yells. "why won't you let me die??"

"i don't hate you. i promise. i love you more than anything and so does changbin. you hurt him when you took those pills. but he's crying because he loves you." 

jisung breaks down on chan. "everything is horrible because of me i'm so sorry. i fell in love with changbin and ruined our relationship. i took those pills and hurt you both. i'm so sorry." 

"you didn't ruin our relationship. i'm in love with changbin too. you broke up with me and that's what made me upset. we can fix this okay? please?" chan begs. 

"are you asking me to get back together?"

"i am."

"i can't. i'm in love with changbin and with you. i need to figure it out first." jisung sniffs.

"what if we.." chan coughs. "we could all three..."

"changbin does't want to do that. i'll figure out my feelings first. i'm sorry." jisung sighs. "i need to go apologize to changbin hyung." 

chan nods.

"changbin?" jisung knocks.

he hears shuffling before the door opens and changbin is standing there, tears all over his face and red cheeks. 

"i'm sorry i took those pills." jisung whispers. "can you come out here?" 

changbin pulls him into a tight hug. "jisung you scared me so bad when i found you. i thought you were gone. you can't do that to me.." 

"i'm sorry i wont do it again." jisung sniffs, burying his face in changbin's neck.

changbin takes a deep breath. "can i make dinner? will you eat?"

"yeah." jisung nods. "i'll eat."

changbin gives him a weak smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	12. awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> caw caw caw

the next week was full of awkward silence and small conversations.

"dinner is ready." changbin calls. 

chan and jisung appear to eat.

"so. how was work changbin?" chan asks, taking a bite of rice. 

"as it always is." changbin replies.

they eat quietly.

jisung finishes first. changbin is, as always, leaning against the counter. jisung presses his chest to changbin's and presses a sweet kiss to his lips.

changbin stares at him with wide eyes as he steps back, putting his plate in the sink.

"excuse me? i can do that too." chan snaps. 

and before he knows it, chan is kissing him.

changbin steps away, putting his plate down and his hands up like a surrender. "listen. i don't want to be kissed right now and i would appreciate if you both wouldn't just do that."

"you're right. im sorry." chan groans.

"i'm not. we have kissed before." jisung shrugs. 

"i just said i do not want to be kissed jisung." changbin snaps harshly. "it hurts me too. when you both do that. my feelings get hurt too." 

jisung looked like a kicked puppy. "sorry hyung."

changbin sighs. "i didn't mean to snap.." he kisses jisungs forehead and then runs his thumb on chans cheek. "i'm sorry angels." 

jisung smiles. "it's okay." 

"do you want to... watch a movie??" chan asks quietly, eyes shining.

"okay." changbin nods. jisung nods too.

changbin settles on the couch and jisung finds his blankets and soon they're a mesh of limbs and blankets.

jisung is curled on changbins left and chan on his right. all three smile. 

through the pain and awkwardness, they smile.

chan and jisung smile as changbin holds them. if only changbin wanted it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	13. gone again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *trigger warning* mentions of suicide

changbin got home early again. it had been 2 weeks since the weird kissing thing and everything was just tense.

"jisung. i'm home early."

no reply.

a surge of fear hits changbin and he rushes to the bathroom. locked.

"open the fucking door! han jisung!" he screams, veins sticking out in his neck.

the lock turns. 

changbin waits. it doesn't open. 

so he pushes in. 

there sits jisung. on the toilet. holding a bottle of painkillers.

changbin smacks the bottle out of his hands. "god damn it! jisung we talked about this!" 

"i wasn't going to." jisung mumbles.

"im going to have to fucking lock all of the medicine and knives and anything else up somewhere aren't i? fuck jisung!" changbin yells.

"i said i wasn't going to." 

"bullshit! you were just reading the label then??" 

"stop yelling at me." 

"no! i'm not going to stop! jisung it hurts me so fucking much to see you like this. so much. you can't keep doing this. chan and i pay for therapy and you barely go. i'm sick of it! jisung you need to get better. because this is hurting me too. you don't stop to think about how it makes us feel! jisung do you even care?!"

jisung was crying now. "please stop screaming. you're scaring me."

"jisung this isn't okay." changbin snaps.

jisung tries to go past but changbin grabs his arm. hard. 

"no. i'm not finished."

"you're hurting me."

"you're not listening!!" 

"i said you're hurting me!" jisung screams.

changbin seems to click and then he lets jisung go. jisung rubs his arm.

he rushes into chans room, crying harshly. he slams the door hard.

"i wasn't going to... i wasn't.... i wasn't going to..." he chants to himself, curling into a ball in the floor. he was having a panic attack.

chan gets home just a bit later to changbin pacing in the living room.

"where's jisung?" 

"your room." changbin mumbles.

chan opens the door to jisung hyperventilating, holding the sides of his head. a large purple bruise visible on his forearm.

"did you hurt him?" chan yells. "did he hurt you?" he kneels next to jisung who scrambles into his arms.

"i did i did fuck i fucking grabbed him- i yelled really loud- fuck i'm so-" changbin stutters.

"you can't do that!" chan snaps, craddling jisung.

"shit. i- i have to go-"

changbin rushes out the door. 

chan takes his time calming jisung. finally the boy is asleep.

chan lifts him and puts him on the bed, covering him.

he finds the pill bottle on the floor in the bathroom and sighs.

changbin left again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	14. gone again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changbin come home

"fuck fuck come on answer your phone." chan bites his nails, calling changbin for the nth time this week.

"what? stop calling me." changbin's voice was rough.

"come home. now. please." chan wanted to sound stern but he was crying.

"i can't. i'm not coming back this time."

"please..." chan sniffs.

"why are you crying?" 

"because jisung wont talk to me and he is locked in your room again and it's the same as before i'm scared if i leave he will try something again and i miss you and i'm so sorry please come home changbin." he sobs. "please."

"chan..." changbin sighs. "i can't. i hurt him and i- i can't do that. i'm so stupid i- i'm sorry i cant."

"please we need you." chan begs, voice breaking.

changbin is quiet for a while. then, "maybe tomorrow."

"please."

"i said maybe." changbin sighs.

"i don't know what to do." chan cries.

"you'll be okay. i'll be home tomorrow."

"you will?" chan sniffs.

"i will." changbin sighs again.

"thank you..." 

changbin hangs up and chan smiles through his panic attack.

thank god.

 

-

 

chan stares at the door, knees to his chest, chewing his lip.

he was tired. he doesn't sleep a lot, hes scared for jisung.

finally the knob turns.

changbin steps in and sets his stuff down.

"changbin."

"hi angel." changbin smiles softly.

chan slowly makes his way to changbin, sliding into his arms and sighing. 

"where is jisung?"

"your room." chan steps back. changbin presses a soft kiss to his forehead and then makes his way to the closed door.

"jisungie." he calls, knocking. "can i come in?"

"it's unlocked." he hears.

he opens the door to the familiar sight of jisung in his hoodie and no pants, covered in blankets on his bed. "hi angel."

jisung looks at him, quiet. but he stands and pouts.

changbin pulls him into a hug. he sighs. "i'm so sorry."

jisung nods. "it's okay. i forgive you."

"i'll make lunch okay? are you hungry?" changbin kisses his head.

"yeah." jisung smiles.

and it was normal again. other than the silent crying as changbin cooked. it was normal again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: @junseobins


	15. finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they talk

chan and jisung are arguing again and it wakes changbin up.

he can't hear the words, just muffled screaming.

until he opens the door.

"i already told you!! i have to figure out my feelings! we cant just get back together chan." jisung spits.

"yes we can!"

"we can't! you know damn well that i'm in love with changbin. i have to get over that first."

"i'm in love with him too jisung!! we have to talk to him!!" chan screams.

"talk to me about what?" changbin's voice startles them both.

"changbin i'm sorry." jisung groans. "i didn't want to wake you. chan just kissed me and we are arguing and-"

"changbin." chan's voice was stern.

"what." 

"i want to be with you. but i want to be with jisung too." chan begins. "it would be weird i know but jisung wants the same thing. it's complicated and so weird fuck but it wold make things so much easier. if you don't want that it's fine we can figure it out. just don't run away this time."

changbin stares. "i-"

"you freaked him out!" jisung snaps.

"no. i uh." changbin clears his throat. "i want that too."

it goes quiet.

"wait." jisung stutters. "are you serious?"

"i literally call you my angels." changbin's face was dumbfounded as he stared. "i thought i made it obvious."

"wait does that mean we are... together?" chan asks.

all three boys stood in silence for a minute.

chan and jisung wait for changbin's reply.

he was the one that decided.

"yeah. yeah i guess it does." changbin nods.

as they start to get happy, changbin's phone rings and his whole world crashes to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading


	16. death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *trigger warning* death

"what is it? changbin?"

"i need to go- my mom-" changbin can't breathe. "she's all i had and-"

"hey it's okay, get dressed we will go together." jisung soothes him.

changbin nods, panicking.

all the while he was growing up, his mom helped him. when his dad hurt him or got violent, she was there to patch him up. she accepted him when he came out. she was all changbin had.

and now she's gone.

changbin cries into jisung's shoulder as chan drives.

"its okay everything will be fine." jisung rubs his back.

changbin pulls into the hospital parking lot and the three trail in together. 

"changbin." changbin flinches at the voice.

and older man with lots of scars and an angry face approaches.

chan protectively stands in front of both boys. "who are you?"

"his father. move."

chan grips jisung as changbin steps around him.

"this is your fault." and in the eyes of the whole hospital waiting room, he slaps changbin. hard.

changbin let the tears fall. "I'm sorry."

"you're the reason she got sick. she got sick because of you. you are your disgusting ways." 

"i didn't give her cancer because i'm gay." changbin replies, trying to defend himself.

"bullshit!" he kicks changbin hard and he stumbles to the ground. "she's dead and it's your fault!"

changbin just wanted to see her.

as the nurses force his dad out, he stands, shaking. "can i see my mother please?" he asks weakly.

the morgue smelled of bleach. 

changbin stares at his mother. 

it was weird seeing him like this. he was the strong one. he was chan and jisung's protector. 

but right now he was weak. fragile.

they help him into bed at home and let him stay there. 

chan cooks dinner and brings it to him only to find it untouched hours later.

"changbin?" they step in, gentle.

changbin glances.

"can we sleep here?"

changbin nods softly.

they climb in on either side and curl up to him, both looking expectantly.

he looks down at them. 

he gives a weak smile. "i love you." 

"we love you too." chan whispers. 

jisung smiles. 

he kisses their foreheads softly.

it was all so gentle. scared to hurt each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay safe uwu ily


	17. different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its different

it was so... strange.

so...

different.

the day usually went like this:

chan would wake up first. then changbin. jisung usually last but only to get goodbye kisses and breakfast and return to bed. changbin got home first. then chan. and changbin would make dinner. they would eat and then cuddle and go to sleep.

but now...

changbin didn't sleep at home a lot. he was always at the studio. jisung and chan slept in his bed a lot.

he would rarely cook and wouldn't eat a lot. 

he had barely spoken. 

instead of cuddling after dinner he would go to his room, stay there. and then when they came for bed, he would go to the studio with not so much as a goodbye kiss.

it had been nearly a month.

but, slowly, he was getting better.

he stayed home more at night. ate a little more.

some nights he stayed to cuddle.

tonight was a good night.

he got up, made breakfast, left them with goodbye kisses and i love you's and then he was home early. 

he cooked a lot. he cooked jisung and chan separate things, their favorites. and he ate an whole plateful too!!

afterwards, chan asks, "will you watch tv with us?" 

changbin smiles softly. "yeah." 

jisung beams. "yay!" 

both wait for him to settle on the couch. he lays down, happy the couch is as wide as it is, and opens his arms. 

his eyes shine.

jisung climbs next to him cuddling into his chest, his back to the back of the couch. 

chan lays in front but scoots down so jisung can see over him and turns so his back is to changbin.

changbin squirms an arm under both, hand flattening on chan's stomach and the other on jisung's hip. 

jisung finds the blanket behind him and covers them all and sighs. happy.

their legs are a mess and their smiles big.

"my angels." changbin purrs. "my pretty babies." 

jisung blushes hard and whines and chan scoffs. "shut up." 

changbin tickles his stomach and he squeals. 

jisung giggles. "i love you changbin." 

changbin smiles. "i love you too jisung. and i love you chan." 

"i love you too, bin." 

jisung pauses and it's quiet. "chan?" 

"i love you. so much jisung." chan sighs. 

jisung smiles. "i missed this. are you feeling better changbin??" 

changbin nods. "yeah. just a little. my dad hasn't bothered me."

"will you stay here tonight?" chan whispers.

changbin goes quiet.

then, "mmm yeah. i'm tired of that chair." 

jisung beams up at him.

maybe they could go back to normal.


	18. where are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where did he go?

but, in the morning when chan and jisung wake up, they're alone in changbin's bed.

"huh?" jisung mumbles.

"where's changbin? he's off today..." chan groans.

"today is one month maybe he's out getting something." jisung coughs, rolling out of bed.

throughout the day, the two sit on the couch waiting, but changbin doesn't come.

no texts no calls.

until 9pm.

chan's phone rings.

"it's changbin."

he puts it on speaker. "hello? changbin?"

"hey angel. is jisung there?" he sounded... off.

"yeah you're on speaker."

"okay good. i'm just calling to let you know that-" he coughs a little. "i won't be home for a while. i have to finish some things up."

"is it with your dad?" jisung asks.

changbin pauses. "um yeah. listen, i have to go but i love you both. i love you so so so much and i promise i'll be home soon."

"i love you changbin." chan answers.

"jisungie?"

"yeah. i uh... i love you too changbin." but jisung was so worried.

changbin hangs up and chan pulls jisung into his chest.

"he will be fine." chan whispers.

"i just want this all to be over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	19. end quickly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changbin is back fast

well changbin wasn't gone all that long.

only about a week. but he comes back beaming and chirpy.

"so! dinner anyone??" he says as he strides in.

"changbin!!" jisung jumps up, sprinting into changbin's chest.

changbin laughs happily, catching him.

chan approaches the two, smiling wide, "bin,"

"hey angels, what do you want for dinner?"

jisung giggles. "whatever you want to make."

changbin kisses his forehead lightly and gently strokes chan's cheek before heading to the pantry. chan and jisung take their spots at the bar, giddy.

"is it over?" jisung asks.

"it is. i got him arrested. he's put away." changbin was grinning wide.

jisung gives his gummy smile. "i'm so happy."

chan grabs jisung's hand and links their fingers, smiling. "finally."

they all eat how they usually do, changbin watching with his own plate from the counter. 

changbin does the dishes and meets them on the couch, letting himself get tangled in his two boyfriends.

"you know," he clears his throat. "i watched you both for so long. i was in love with you two for so long."

jisung smiles lovingly at him. "i saw you."

"i saw too, after jisung pointed you out."

"i wrote so many songs for you two." changbin whispers.

"really?" they both preen up to look at him.

changbin laughs. "oh yeah."

"you need to show us."

"i've already recorded a bunch all those nights in the studio. i'll show you soon." changbin plants a kiss to chan's lips then turns to jisung and lets the youngest kiss him too.

jisung smiles. "i love you both. so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!


	20. end

"HAPPY ONE YEAR!" jisung screams, flopping on top of the two boys tangled on the bed.

both let out grunts but move around so jisung is in the middle and both wrap themselves around him.

"happy one year," jisung whispers again.

changbin stretches. "happy one year. i'll make breakfast you two stay here and ill call you out when its ready." 

he pulls away and pecks their lips softly before disappearing and closing the door.

jisung tangles himself in chan and smiles, puckering his lips at him.

chan lets out a low chuckle and accepts the kiss. "cute,"

jisung hides his pink cheeks in chan's chest.

they cuddle and rest for a little while, the smell of food drifting into the room.

finally, "okay my angels!"

the two make their way to the kitchen and jisung squeals.

the room was decorated in pink streamers and cute pink decorations. changbin stood holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a small bag in this other. he holds them out and jisung happily takes the flowers and pecks his lips.

chan opens the bag and smiles. "thank you, bin," he also receives a kiss, his gift being a new set of headphones.

changbin knew what they would like.

"one more gift for all of us." 

changbin clears his throat and place a box on the counter.

inside rests a necklace, a bracelet, and a ring, all with identical blue stones and silver metal.

changbin hands the ring to jisung and the bracelet to chan and then puts the necklace on himself.

jisung grins. "you're so sweet changbinnie."

changbin pulls them into his sides and kisses the tops of their heads. "only for you two." 

"i have gifts too.." chan clears his throat and rummages in the drawer until he pulls out two bags.

in jisung's, a vegan hair dye set and in changbin's, a new notebook.

"oh me too me too!!!" jisung stands on his toes and grabs his own two bags, shoving them to the other two.

in changbin's, a set of fancy pens and in chan's, a new leather jacket.

the three smile at each other.

"okay breakfast time and then cuddles all day." changbin smiles.

he serves them their breakfast, all their favorites and they sit in their spots. changbin leans on the counter and eats his own, glancing at the two. "gosh jisung you literal squirrel."

jisung looks up, cheeks full and wide eyes making the two laugh.

and jisung was their baby. jisung was their youngest, their baby.

and changbin was their protector and their leader, the one they always relied on.

and chan was the oldest (i mean, age wise but mentally...), he always cared for the two younger than him.

they fit so well.

it was perfect.

"can you pass the sriracha sauce?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end uwu i hope you enjoyed tell me what you thought on my twitter @junseobins or my curiouscat: curiouscat.me/mynsaus

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my twitter! @junseobins


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